“If diets, discipline, and workouts haven’t worked, it’s not because you’re failing. It’s because lasting body transformation begins inside.”
Hello beautiful,
Once you’ve finished reading these pages, you will be armed with simple tools that I promise will radically change your body and mind, for good, so that you can stop “starting again on Monday” and never have to go on another diet again.
We’ve all been there, having the enthusiasm on a Monday morning that this is going to be the week where you really get a handle on your diet and exercise.
You think, “I’ve had enough, this time I’m going to make it work.”
Trust me, I’ve been there so many times, the starting again on Monday.
As the mondays start to pile up and the months roll by, and another January lands, and you still haven’t reached your dream body, you lose faith, “maybe something’s wrong with my thyroid, maybe my hormones are working against me” and slowly but surely you start to live in this normal, which you hate, but put up with. Constant struggle, on again/off again with diets. It’s exhausting.
Well, today my love, I am going to share with you exactly why this keeps happening to even the most determined of us, those of us who have used monumental amounts of willpower and still “failed”.
Over the past 2 decades, I have been my own guinea pig (I’m a female health coach too) and finally cracked the code to what it takes to actually live in the body of your dreams.
The key to the perfect body is an inside job – Your identity matters
See, I’m an ex-athlete, I used to be a bodybuilder, I always dreamed of a body to die for.
After I gave birth to my daughter Izzy, and when she was 6 weeks old, I discovered my husband was having an affair with his secretary. I know, it’s a story for another time, how I found out and all the stuff. If I still drank wine, I’d say the story requires at least 2 bottles of red to tell!
I was in Canada at the time, with this tiny human, my little baby girl and my heart so broken that I genuinely thought my chest would explode at any moment.
After a few months, I felt this overwhelming fear of not being strong enough, I felt weak, self-conscious, not enough and unattractive. I was desperate to be strong whilst going through this divorce and navigating everything that comes with being a new mummy. I had to be and FEEL strong.
For the following 2 years, I really, really wanted to transform the way I felt and looked, lose the belly fat, firm up the legs and lift my bum, who doesn’t, right?
I thought that if I worked really hard and achieved my dream body, it would make me feel confident within myself, that I’d ooze with radiance and joy.
I genuinely believed that if I could have enough willpower to stick to an insanely strict diet and work my balls off in the gym, I would feel great. I was so sure that it would be the missing piece, life would be incredible, I’d be insanely happy, and I could really start living again.
But what happened was incredible, I worked so hard in the gym, counted every calorie for a solid 9 months and then entered my very first Bikini competition when Izzy was 2 years old.
I was so sure that “getting there” would hold all the keys to my dreams, but when I stepped off stage, watched the fake tan run down the drain pipe, peeled my fake eyelashes off, I just cried. I still felt the same….
Self-conscious
un happy
not confident
Sad somehow.
Can you relate to this feeling of working so hard to achieve something, arriving at the destination only to realise you didn’t get what you expected?
How could this be? I had worked so hard, yes, I’d got into good shape through discipline, force, restriction (and misery at times), but I had achieved a great figure, why did I still feel so empty?
I kept thinking, maybe I didn’t work hard enough, maybe I need to put on more muscle, maybe I just need more time, so I went back to the gym and repeated this cycle 4 more times over 5 years, each time hoping that this new body would “fix” me, make me feel complete, whole inside. It never worked.
Eventually, after years of deprivation, gruelling workouts and beating myself up, I realised that looking good on the outside is pointless if you feel like shit on the inside.
Limited confidence, low self-esteem, disconnected, and never feeling satisfied with what I saw in the mirror.
I realised that I’d got it the wrong way around…
Getting the body of your dreams AND feeling confident, sexy and full of vitality is an inside job.
I learnt that your reality simply reflects your identity at all times.
Your identity is the source of your energy, “Who I AM”.
It’s who you consider yourself to be when someone is watching you and when you’re by yourself.
It’s who you perceive yourself to be in the world.
Your level of self-worth, your values towards yourself, and how you feel about YOU.
Once I realised it was all an inside job, I started learning about the power of the subconscious mind, Quantum physics, the nervous system and the power of identity (who you think you are).
It doesn’t matter what you do on the outside with diets, exercise and all the strategies all the health gurus tell you, if you don’t believe you are worthy of the body, something will always stop you, you’ll always hit a ceiling, something will always throw you off track. But worst of all, you don’t fully feel divine on the inside.
It’s not action alone that creates the perfect body to live in; it’s the identity you hold about yourself.
The One Thing That Changed Everything
One of THE most powerful practices I used on a daily basis was visualisation meditation. It’s such a powerful way to rewire the subconscious mind and bring to life the ideal version of you.
I visualised myself feeling strong with genuine confidence and heartfelt happiness.
You know those women you meet who just seem to ooze confidence, the power and self-kindness to fully speak their truth, the kind of woman who doesn’t say yes when she really means no.
I wanted that inner radiance that I couldn’t get through gym workouts and strict meal plans.
I visualised myself with glowing skin, bright eyes, a healthy body and inner radiance that would turn heads when I entered a room.
I sat for a few minutes each day and visualised this version of me every single day. The way I walked, the clothes I wore, the kind of thoughts and behaviour I’d have.
After a short time, I began making decisions from this version of me.
Before I reached for food or thought about doing a workout, I’d ask myself,
“How would this highest, sovereign version of me do this?”
The answer would always come back loud and clear; that voice became my guiding star.
All choices I made, from food to exercise, were prefaced by this one question.
I took action on this inner guidance.
Over time, I couldn’t believe it, but I was actually living the life, taking the actions and holding the behaviour of this highest version of me. I was doing it. I was becoming Her.
The one I dreamed of being. It was happening. Slowly but surely, my body was transforming, and I was blown away at the things I just stopped doing with ease.
I stopped scrolling mindlessly
The binge eating stopped
I stopped rushing around like a mad woman saying, “I don’t have enough time”
I was choosing to go to bed earlier, and my sleep was improving
My food choices were changing; I genuinely had a desire to nourish my body
It was like the more I slowed down and paid attention to my inner self, the things I was achieving started to speed up.
When I finally started shifting my identity to a woman who feels worthy of a strong fit body, a woman who respects her body, time, sleep and energy, a woman who allows herself to rest when needed, not because she earned it, but because she’s alive and respects herself.
When I shifted my identity to a woman who deeply cares for her body, the restriction and binge eating cycles vanished naturally.
The stress hormones settled, and I began to heal, energetically, spiritually and physically.
When that happened, my body dramatically changed. I lost the cortisol belly fat so easily, the pooch I’d been desperately trying to force away through extreme dieting and exercising like a maniac, it just disappeared. (stress hormones don’t allow us to lose belly fat, no matter how hard we try).
But more than that, I felt alive, I started feeling sexy again, my relationships and friendships started improving because I wasn’t shrinking or faking it.
I was performing better at work; I wasn’t on a constant emotional rollercoaster, having regular meltdowns. I felt like I was born again. I’d become the woman I’d always wished for.
Calm
Centered
Divine
Strong
Healthy
Peaceful
Loving (towards myself)
My nervous system regulated itself; it was like it took the biggest exhale! My sleep returned, and I felt beautiful inside AND out.
It didn’t happen overnight, but I can tell you that transforming my body from the inside out through shifting my identity.
Identity work IS the secret no one talks about
What would you prefer:
- Hours in the gym daily doing gruelling workouts
- Counting every calorie
- Surviving on willpoweror
- On the wagon/off the wagon
- Being “good” or “bad”
Or
Shifting your identity so that eating healthy and naturally moving your body with love is part of who you are, your identity, easy, effortless, simple?
These are the steps I took to fully embody a new, sovereign identity
If I can do it, I know you can too.
Morning routine:
- Upon waking, drink a large mug of water, a squeeze of lemon and a pinch of pink salt for maximum hydration.
- Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Take a deep breath and really let yourself open in to your deepest desires for yourself. Ask yourself, “If anything was possible for me, what would I be doing/being/having?” How would I look? How would I feel at the deepest part of me? Write them down.
- Grab your headphones and listen to a guided meditation that takes you into the energy of your ideal self. How does this version of you look? How does she feel? What is she wearing? Who is she? What is she achieving in her life? What do YOU really want?
If you just did this one practice daily for at least 30 days, you’ll notice things changing. Your thoughts, your choices, your actions and your behaviours all begin to transform.
There are so many beautiful meditations that I love for identity, but my favourites are by Lenka Lutonska and Gabby Bernstein.
Can you begin to feel what would happen for you if you took some time for your precious self to just slow down and care for yourself before the world asks anything from you?
Imagine how different your life could begin to unfold if you just took this one small step towards change?
What if your choices, how to talk to yourself and your actions shifted more towards caring for yourself and becoming the kind of woman who embodies healthy actions as her norm?
Where the healthy actions you take no longer require willpower, restriction force or beating yourself up, just imagine.
I would love to hear from you if you tried it. Let me know what changed for you.
From my loving heart to yours,
