Self-Care – How To Cultivate Deep Love For Yourself

I am the first person to scream “Yes!” to a Spa day, but over the past 8 years of journeying down a spiritual path, I’ve undeniebly realised that real self-care isn’t about superficial stuff like getting a manicure or having a bubble bath, (as lovely as they are). It’s way deeper than that.

Have you ever had the feeling like you’re always on the back burner, doing everything for everyone else but yourself?

I’ve learnt that the more connected I am with who I really am, my true self, my higher self, the more my life begins to resonate at a higher frequency and I reap the benefits, and you can too.

Sincronicities are a regular occurrence, opportunities fall in to my lap, money flows, beautiful people come into my life, I feel vibrant and alive,  my health sky rockets; physically, emotionally and mentally. 

(I used to have THE worst mornings, where self-care was non-existent, I’ll tell you about it in a sec)

The Aspects Of You

• Physical

• Emotional

• Spiritual

• Mental 

Self-care for the physical/topical (mani/pedi) aspect of you is important, but the benefits are temporary and superficial.

To make a lasting impact and change, we must focus on the internal aspects, the real you, the spiritual aspect of you, your essence.

Unquestionably, your soul requires more than an appointment at the nail bar.

When we truly care for ourselves by developing a deeper relationship and connection with ourselves, intuition and joy become a natural working part of our day, and the sense of contentment and self-love evolves and deepens. 

From this place of connection with ourselves, everything changes….

In short, we are spiritual beings having a human experience, we are made of energy, we are limitless creatures, not just tethered to the universal energy, but WE ARE universal energy, it’s in all of us, we are it. We are one. No separation, all connected, all made from the same source. Boundless. 

What Is Self-Care?

So when we talk about self-care at its most fundamental core, it’s connection to the deepest part of who we are, your essence, the ‘universal self’.

Taking time to connect with ourselves, especially if our day-to-day life is super busy, is essential for vitality and wellness in all areas of our lives.

Physical – How you look and feel

Emotional – Resilience & regulation

Spiritual – Inner peace & connection

Mental – Balance & heartfelt joy

True self-care can be anything that connects us to who we really are, “to know thyself”.

Ways Of Connecting With Self

• Meditation practices

• Introspection

• Journaling

• Being in communities with like-minded people

• Prioritising emotional wellness

Why Superficial Self-Care Doesn’t Hit The Spot 

Back in the day, I used to have this feeling that something was missing; genuine joy and heartfelt happiness seemed to elude me somehow. 

I can’t tell you how hectic my mornings/days used to be in the past, hitting snooze, low energy, checking social media and emails as soon as I opened my eyes, needing caffeine before facing the world and feeling rushed, frustrated and exhausted all the time. 

I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and let me tell you, not only was I massively neglecting my emotional, physical and spiritual health, but I was neglecting my family too because I had zero energy or patience to be fully present with them.

I was stuck in the most unhealthy morning routine. Mornings were hectic and stressful, and that is just the way it was. 

This kind of morning spilled out into the rest of my day. Stressed, frustrated and emotional.

I would be chasing sugar cravings all day long, feeling fatigued, disconnected and frustrated, and then needing caffeine and sugar by day to get through, and wine by night to “de-stress” and sleep.   

So, that was the old way.

 I finally got to a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore and knew there had to be another way. 

Related reading:

• About Sam
• 4 Reasons New Year’s Health Resolutions Fail – What To Do Instead

How To Cultivate A Self-Care Practice That Works

I was introduced to something called MAGIC MORNING and it literally transformed my life. 

It’s simple and is incredibly powerful for transforming the following:

• Your mood

• Your mind-set

• The choices you make

• How you feel about yourself and others

• Your perspective of the world and your place in it

• Your identity (who you think you are)

MAGIC is an acronym for:

M= Meditation (headphones on, guided meditation, visualisation) 

A= Affirmation (read your chosen declaration) 

G = Gratitude (write down 5 things you are grateful for) 

I= Identity (step into the energy of your most successful, expanded and grounded self) 

C= Choose (type of movement,  10 min walk in the park/ yoga,/class/swim) 

This new way of entering into your day has a profoundly empowering effect and impacts not only you, but everyone you come into contact with.  

So, to kick off your Magic Morning, there’s one condition: no phone until you’ve finished nourishing your soul. 

This is true self-care.

You are THE most important person in your life.

Invest Time In You

The time you invest in yourself in the morning is totally up to you. When I first started practising, I’d spend 15-20 minutes. The more I did it, the better I felt, and I just wanted to do more of it!

I take 1 hour for myself every morning now, but it still works beautifully even if you only have 15 mins.

If you’re thinking “I don’t have time for this”, I get it. Choose one thing to begin with, and you can build and develop your practice over time.

Practising even for just a few minutes each day yields incredible transformation over time. As with most things, consistency is King.

1. MEDITATION

You don’t have to wear a kaftan or burn incense, nor do you have to sit cross-legged to reap the benefits (unless you really want to!). A chair or a soft cushion on the floor is perfect.

All you need is 3-5 minutes in a quiet space. 

The power of meditation in reducing stress, increasing resiliency, cultivating and planting the seeds of success, empowerment and positivity, (the list goes on and on). 

Sitting for a few minutes, with yourself, your breath, your heartbeat, is one of the quickest and meaningful ways to develop a connection with yourself.  

If you’re new to meditation and have no clue where to start, I highly recommend the app ‘Insight Timer’, it’s free, and there are thousands of guided meditations for a beautiful morning practice. 

2. AFFIRMATION

An affirmation is a sacred statement or declaration, repeated; it’s a beautiful way to talk to yourself (nourishing your soul). 

So how do you use affirmations?

You can repeat a few times, either out loud or in your head; repetition is particularly powerful; it only takes 1-2 minutes. 

You can choose just one affirmation and repeat it, or choose a couple. Really feeling the emotions attached to the words you wrote.

Here are 11 of my favourites:

1. I am worthy of love
2. I am resilient
3. I love, nourish and care for my body & mind
4. Everything is working out for my highest good
5. I am exactly where I need to be
6. It’s my birthright to experience all my desires
7. I accept all of me with love
8. I shower myself with compassion
9. Everything in life happens for me
10. I give love, I am loved, I AM love
11.  I appreciate my body, for it allows me to experience life

3. GRATITUDE

Write down 5 things that you are grateful for. 

It can be anything that you feel blessed to have, be or be experiencing:

• Your work

• Your partner

• Your kids

• Your pets

• The hot water you have to be able to wash your face and body, 

• The nourishing food in your fridge

• Friends and loved ones

• A warm home to live in

• Calmness of mind

• Gratitude for your ability to transform

• Gratitude for being alive now 

• For having patience with yourself

• For learning to love your body

• For making more time for you

• For being able to learn new things

• For becoming more aware of who you are

• For having patience and compassion

The list is endless of all the possibilities! It can be anything, and it can change every single day. Just write down 5 things that you feel grateful to be, do or have.

4. IDENTITY

Take 1-2 minutes to step into the energy of your most successful, expanded, and grounded self – the one who already lives the results, the impact, the freedom you desire. 

Close your eyes, place your hand on your heart and connect with that version of you. 

Notice how they think, speak, decide, and carry themselves. 

Feel their calm certainty, their creative confidence, their ease. 

Important: You’re not imagining a “potential future” here; you’re identifying with the now of your highest identity. The more vividly you feel it in your body – the breath, the stance, the quiet assurance – the more powerfully you prime your intuitive intelligence to lead from that truth.

5. CHOOSE

Choose which type of movement:

10 minute morning walk in the park or a Yoga session in your living room.

My favourite person for this is Travis Elliot on YouTube. He’s incredible and VERY easy on the eye! 

Final Thoughts 

In conclusion, the more time we spend filling ourselves up from within, nourishing our soul with the intention of giving focused time to be with ourselves, the more we elevate our experience in all areas of our lives.

I know that you’re beautiful, deserving, loved and more than enough.

Will you carve out a little time for yourself tomorrow to take care of you?

You are complete, there’s nothing to be “fixed”, only to pour more nourishment over yourself from the most powerful source, within. 

From My Open Heart to Yours,

P.S. Email me and let me know how you get on, I love hearing your stories!