Let’s be honest- how many times have you set health and weight loss goals as a New Years resolution, only to feel shame and frustration by february?
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably started multiple years with a big vision—excited, committed, ready to make it the year you finally got on top of your health and weight.
Most people set resolutions in a way that’s destined to fail because they rely on outdated methods that just don’t work. We know they don’t work because we keep setting the same goals, in the same way, year after year with zero results.
It’s easy to blame ourselves when this happens. But the truth is, it’s not a personal failing—it’s a clarity and systems problem.
Health isn’t just for January, making small changes with consistency is what really makes the difference. if you try to do too much it feels overwhelming and ultimately unsustainable, we end up dropping the ball on 1 or 2 things and then the fuck it button comes out. A binge happens, the alarm gets snoozed, food choices become careless.
It’s all very well and good to have goals of starting the gym, but, I was a personal trainer for 7 years, I’d see enthusiastic women in Janury doing intense workouts they’re not used to, it caused injuries and a lot of soreness, to the point where you literally can’t walk properly and trying to sit on the toilet makes you wish you lived in a retirement home with handrails and a walker frame.
Losing weight isn’t about gruelling workouts, it’s about what you eat to nourish your body, how you care for your wellbeing, how you treat yourself and having real clarity around what you really want and why you want it.
So, instead of pushing through another year of frustration, let’s talk about why resolutions don’t work—and then we’ll talk about what really does work.
4 Reasons Why Standard New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Last:
1. Overwhelming Goals – Chase 2 Rabbits, Catch None
I don’t subscribe to the “New Year, New Me” BS, it put’s so much pressure on women. If your resolutions include: lose 3 stone, go to the gym 4 times a week, drink 2l of water a day, be in bed at 9pm, wake up at 5am, start meditation and only eat salads, overwhelm and eventually falling off is inevitable.
If these aren’t part of your normal routine, trying to implement all of these changes all at once will be a disaster for your self confidence and motivation long term.
Not to mention that:
A) Just eating salads is really miserable
B) Eating only salads will not get you a strong, toned body
We can’t do all the things all the time, all at once, it’s unsustainable.
Here’s whew most people fail, they set so many goals, it ends up feeling heavy and overwhelming. These are all good things to improve on, but they aren’t specific enough to drive real change, they’re unclear and theres way too many things to do at once.
2. Fuzzy Targets Don’t Get Hit
New Years resolutions like “lose weight”, “eat better” and “exercise more”, just aren’t specific enough, and there isn’t clarity around why you want to lose weight (I can promise you the answer runs deeper than just “fit in to a size 12”).
In order to achieve anthing, we must have clarity and a strong emotional reason why. Your reason Why will become a powerhouse of motivation and your guiding star if you get to the roots of your why.
We’ll go over how to uncover your deeper meaning why in a moment. I gotchya
3. Unfocused Planning
Saying “I’m only going to eat fresh home made food from now on” but not plan in your diary when you’re going to sit down and create your menu, create a shopping list and go shopping, it won’t get done and you’ll find yourself winging it, standing at an open fridge thinking “I don’t know what to have”.
Time blocking in your calendar is and incredible tool to ensure you get the most important things done as a priority.
When you actively schedule out the time in your diary to do the things that matter, it gets done. Time blocking is like making special appointments with yourself that can’t be cancelled.
Here’s a screenshot of my Google Calendar below. You’re welcome to model mine in your own calendar.
When sitting down to plan, I always plug in the most important things first, me time, doing the things that support my health, emotional, physical and spiritual.
Then I will plug in my work and family commitments. My mantra is “me first”, because as we know, if we’re not balanced, mind, body and spirt, everything else in our lives is compromised.
I can’t give my best to my family, husband or clients if I’m tired all the time, low vibration, low confidence and frustrated all the time.
When you’re happy, vibrant, calm and balanced, everything else around you falls into place.
4. Willpower v Identity
Willpower can be useful at times, but eventually it runs out, we can’t sustain effort solely on willpower. As we’ve experienced a hundred times before, we start with good intentions, rock-solid determination and then shortly start falling short on our original promises. Will power is temporary.
What to do instead: Instead of setting goals like “Lose 1 stone,” shift your focus to:
“I am the kind of person who cares for their body. I take pride in my health and nourish myself with good food, water and movement.”
Shifting your identity is a powerful way to evoke real change. Become the person who really wants the best for themselves.
What to Do Instead:
A Smarter Approach to Goal-Setting
Step 1: The best way to figure out which goals you should prioritize is to sit down with a pad and let yourself visualise and feel in to a future version of yourself, in your ideal world, (not what you parents, partner or Jane next door thinks you should be doing).
- Who do you want to be?
- What do you see yourself doing?
- How do you want look?
- How do you want to feel?
- What kinds of things are you doing in this ideal version of you?
Let me tell you, if you can see it in the window of your mind, you can have it in your reality.
Example of self visualisation: This is what I wrote in an old visualisation session about 10 years ago when my health (and life) wasn’t so great.
Writing in a way that looks back at the year just gone is a powerful manifestation process that works. It really helps to spark belief in yourself and allow for creative dreams to hit the page (and in time, who you become)
“It’s been 12 months sice I started my healing journey. I am so happy and grateful now that I can move my body without daily pain. I am so grateful now that I’m fitting in to size 10 jeans, I did it!
I am so grateful now that I don’t have to rely on caffeine by day to survive and wine by night to sleep.
I have had the most amazing year, I am waking up with energy, I can now look at my body naked in the mirror and feel pride (instead of hatred).
I am so happy now that I can think clearly, my relationship has improved beyond recognition because of my increased health and vitality.
Thank you, thank you thank you”.
Step 2: Pick the number 1 overarching goal you have achieved in your year of looking back. What is it?
- To lose 2 stone?
- To have more energy to exercise?
- To have the energy, confidence and libido to be more intimate with your partner?
- To feel strong and toned in your body?
- To be able to look at yourself naked and feel loving toward the reflection with a sense of pride?
Write down the number 1 most important thing you want to achieve.
Step 3: 7 Levels Deep Exercise
This is one of THE most powerful ways to solidifying and committing to your goal on a deep level. A mentor of mine Dean Graziozi, taught me this incredible exercise for goal setting. I now apply it to literally EVERY goal I have.
I’ve made a little video for you explaining how it works, but essentially, the 7 Levels Deep worksheet is a powerful self-discovery tool, popularized by Dean Graziosi that uses repeated “why” questions to uncover the core, emotional reasons (your true “why”) behind a goal, helping you find deep motivation for achieving it.
You start with a goal (e.g., “lose 2 stone”) and ask “Why is that important to me?” seven times, using each answer to form the basis of the next question, moving from superficial desires (dress size) to fundamental values (being able to connect with and be intimate with my partner again).
You’ll be amazed at how simple it is, yet it really touches the emotional root behind the goal, the real reason why you want what you want.
In 25 years, it’s hands down the most successful way I’ve found for achieving goals. It’s used by top-performing athletes and entrepreneurs globally.
In this video I talk about one of my clients , when she did this exercise, it was so powerful, made me cry!
If you’d like to go deeper on the origin of the 7 Levels Deep Exercise, here’s Dean Graziosi on YouTube explaining it here.
Step 4 Now you have tied and emotional reason to WHY you want what you want, now you can start breaking the goal down in to daily habits. When you have a strong enough reason why, when things get tough you’re able to overcome challenges when you have your core reason why at the forefront of your mind.
To print the 7 levels deep goal setting worksheet, just hit download and print 🙂
My final thoughts are, that long lasting real transformation, takes, time, care and patience. It can’t all be done in January!
So, lets move away from the “New Year, New Me” milarky, and embrace a mindset of self-compassion and gentle growth rather than pressure, shame and frustration.
Let’s shift shift our thinking to encourage self-kindness, remove the fear of failure that comes with resolutions and build on who you are.
You are already fabulous, lets embrace the gentleness of transformation with lightness in our minds and self love in our hearts.
In love & health,
Coming up next: In my next blog post I’m super excited to be sharing the Golden rules of transforming your body, whether you want to release 10lb or 5 stone, together with how to build a more loving relationship with yourself and food.
There are specific things that we must do in order to alow the body to release body fat. When you incorporate these things in to your daily life, one at at a time, fat loss is enevitable.
